Dear Pi,
There are so many holiday activities and invitations! How should I handle two invitations for the same day and time?
Loyally,
Holly Day
Dear Holly,
It's always a wonderful compliment that someone wants to include us in their gatherings of friends and family. Did you know that the number 1 etiquette violation is failing to RSVP?RSVP is a French phrase which translates to,"Please respond." A verbal invitation won't have the written RSVP request, but an ADPi with good manners will always clearly indicate to their host whether or not they will attend. Those with the best of manners will let the host know within 24 hours of receiving an invitation if they will attend. It seems crazy quick I know. This helps the host to be able to prepare an event designed to be a lovely time for all. If it will take you longer than 24 hours to check your calendar, do contact the host to thank them for the invitation and tell them when to expect your RSVP. Never, ever share that you need to wait because you're expecting another invitation. This implies the other invitation is better. That, my dear sister, is just plain tacky. Always express your pleasure at receiving the invitation. There's nothing so frustrating as extending an invitation to someone who sounds like they are attending reluctantly. A party is expected to be fun and enjoyable. The host puts considerable thought into your entertainment. Make it equally gratifying for the host by showing enthusiasm.
What if you wish to decline the invitation? That's fine, just let the host know you are unable to attend. There is no need to offer or make up an excuse.
Handling two invitations at the same time can be a little tricky. Manners protocol says you should accept the invitation you received first. And, never ever, go back on a previously accepted invitation because you received another. Just explain to the second invitation that you already accepted an invitation at that time. But you have options! Between you and me, until you've accepted an invitation, you have choices.
Our alumnae agree that you should attend events which bring you happiness. So, when choosing just one, consider how excited you feel about attending or whether it's a party with an unspoken rule of required attendance, as a work party might be. It's perfectly fine to split your time between two events located in relatively close proximity to each other. You do need to be realistic about how easily you can travel between two events given constraints of traffic and weather. If adult beverages are involved, please, please figure the cost of an Uber or a designated driver in your plans. Remember your friend who stayed sober in order to keep everyone safe with some token of appreciation.
Here's how to juggle the two events at a time graciously. Communicate clearly to the hostess when you RSVP that you plan to attend two parties during the same evening. Tell her that you will attend hers first/second so she understands why she doesn't see you early or late. Always say hello to the hostess when you arrive and say your goodbyes when you leave. Avoid making a big deal during your holiday conversations about attending two parties. You risk making it more about how popular you are than enjoying and getting to know those at the party. Unless you have physical limitations, always circulate and make an effort to talk with a variety of folks. Want to make the hostess feel really good? Send a text the next day in which you let the her know how much you enjoyed the time at her house. Enjoy a wonderful holiday season. We don't live in a Hallmark movie, so you may not meet the love of your life at one of your parties. But then again, maybe you will!
Loyally,
Pi
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